Dating the Doctor
by grumpyjenn
Summary: River loves the Doctor but they keep meeting out of order... spoilers for Series 6.
1. First Date

The Doctor thought he'd check on River Song. They'd only met the one time by her timeline - as far as he knew - but that meeting had been... eventful. Let's see... she had been trained her whole life to kill him. She'd helped with locking Hitler in a cupboard, been killed, regenerated into River Song, beaten up some Nazis, killed him, been told... what he'd told her... to tell River Song, found out she _was_ River Song, given up her remaining regenerations to save him, awakened in the best hospital in the universe, and been given a time traveler's diary. Busy day. Even by his standards.

He'd met her since then - most notably at their wedding - but _she_ hadn't yet met _him_ again. Or would not have yet met him again. Or something. He understood it instinctively, but when it came to thinking about the details consciously, well... he was inclined to let the Old Girl handle it. In any case, it should/will be safe enough to have a look in and see how she was/is/will be doing. If he knew/would know when/where she was/is/will be now/then. He frowned to himself and decided to stop trying to puzzle it out in English; human languages hadn't the vocabulary or the maths.

"You understand it though, don't you, Sexy?"

The bleeps and whistles seemed to indicate that yes, Sexy did understand it. "Right then; I don't know where she is, but you do, so can you take me to her?" More agreeable bleeps and whistles. He grinned to himself as the TARDIS dematerialized - he'd look in on River, make sure she was all right - and then get out before she spotted him. No sense in blurring the timelines, but he wanted to _see _her.

He hadn't counted on the TARDIS materializing nearly in River's lap.

Well, just across the room. But it was a small room. And when he opened the doors and stepped out, expecting to catch a glimpse of River across a field or something before closing them and leaving again, he suddenly had a lapful of River Song as she hurled herself at him, toppling him to the floor of her room. His arms tightened reflexively around her as she kissed him, rubbing her lips against his mouth and running her hands up and down his arms. "And what sort of time do you call this? What good is a time traveler who's always late? It's been _months_ since I saw you last!".

"Er... when was that, exactly?"

"Oh, you know," she said breezily, "Changed into this me, killed you with lipstick, brought you back, woke in hospital... " she trailed off, suddenly looking a little uncomfortable. "You don't hold any grudges, do you? I mean, I _was_ sort of brainwashed, and I _did_ make it right after..."

He smiled at her. "No grudges. Not against _you_ at any rate."

"Oh, _good_!" And she fastened her lips to his, hands fisted in his hair, squirming in his lap and making him _very _uncomfortable.

_She's so... so much herself, so very River Song, but sweeter than when I knew her, _he thought, _so sweet. _His hands wandered up her back into her amazing hair of their own accord and he groaned. _This isn't right... she's not my River. Not yet._ He broke off the kiss, breathing hard. "Er... River, this isn't... I was just checking in on you, making sure you were all right, and I didn't... I don't want to hurt you... and this... it's not..." and it was his turn to trail off, as she put her fingers to his mouth, suddenly very serious.

"It's all right, Doctor. I know you can't... you feel like you'd be taking advantage of me. You wouldn't be. But it might take some time to convince you. You have plenty of that!" And she was all impish sexy playfulness again. "So. Why don't you take me out somewhere - there are tri-dee movies on this mudball - and we'll... we'll date each other."

He smiled at her. "I've better things to show you than tri-dee movies. We've got the universe".


	2. Second Date

River wondered whether he'd be back. He'd said he would - and this time he'd let her choose where to go and what to see - and what little she'd seen of him herself said he would. But her... education... and Amy's stories... seemed to show that he was unreliable. Her conditioning was based on a simple rule: "The Doctor always lies". Amy felt that breaking his promises to return for her was more accidental than a deliberate lie. River wasn't sure what she felt.

She'd been surprised by him. _Very _surprised, because she'd been told her whole life that he was a menace to the safety of the universe. Her own experience with him - limited as it had been - didn't bear that out. Oh, he was crazy, certainly, by human standards. A madman with a box indeed. But he was... _kind_. Courtly, even. By the end of their date he'd worked up the courage to kiss her goodbye pretty thoroughly himself. But there was something deep in his eyes... something so heartbreakingly _sad_... something that made her want to gather him to her and rock him and croon little reassurances into his ear. And it wasn't a motherly feeling. _At all._

So when she heard that distinctive sound of the TARDIS materializing, she put away her books and sat down as demurely as she could manage on the chair next to the bed. One door of the blue box opened, and he eased his head out. She laughed... she _had_ sort of tackled him the last time, but this was perhaps over-cautious. "Hello, Sweetie." He looked both relieved and a trifle disappointed. She smiled at him, and gestured toward the bed. "Sit down. What's that you've got?"

He looked down at the sheet of plastic in his hand and held it out to her. "A list of places I thought you might like to see. If you haven't already, I mean. Or if you have and you'd like to see them again. I don't know where we are in your timeline, you see, and I thought..."

"Oh! We should compare the diary you gave me with where you've been!" She felt him watching her as she grabbed it from the bedside table and settled down next to him on the bed. "Let's see... we've both been through the killing-with-lipstick-and-waking-in-hospital bit, right? And... you're still not angry with me about it?" She looked up at him, coquettishly. He shook his head without taking his eyes off her. "Right, then what about the..." She broke off as he kissed her.

It was a _very_ nice kiss, and they were both a little breathless as they broke apart. "No spoilers, River. Just tell me how long it's been since you saw me last, and where." He looked troubled.

"Oh. Here. Three days ago." He relaxed minutely and his whole face changed as he smiled at her. His whole face... except his eyes, which still carried that infinitely sad expression. He bent down to retrieve the plastic sheet, which had fallen to the floor, and she took advantage of his position to kiss the back of his neck. He froze for an instant, then shuddered very slightly and straightened, holding the list out to her. "Thank you, Sweetie." _If he can pretend that didn't bother him at all, I can ignore it too_, she thought, rebelliously. She took the list and skimmed it.

"Are these places you think I'd like? Most of them sound good, but I think you've missed a few pretty obvious choices." She looked up at him. "What about Easter Island, or the Singing Towers of Darillium, or - well - Earth between 1550 and 2100?" She glanced down at the list to get the dates right, and missed the spasm of anguish that crossed his face. She felt him tense beside her though, and laid a hand on his arm. "Spoilers in those places and times? All right, let's go... here," and she pointed to the name _Florana_. And felt him relax again. She kissed him, quickly, on the cheek this time. "Thank you for showing me this."

He grinned at her, looking almost his normal cheerfully weird self again. "Any time".


	3. Third Date

_I don't think this is safe, _thought the Doctor,_ this dating River so she knows me before... everything happens from her perspective. But how could she love me if she doesn't know me?_

_I think dating me is hurting him, because he knows things I don't, _thought River_, and I don't want to hurt him. But oh, how can I bear to give him up as I'm beginning to love him?_

The TARDIS hummed sadly to herself as she materialized in River's room. Her beautiful thief and her child needed each other, loved each other. But they were unhappy at these points in their timelines. Life would be much happier for them if they could live in all times at once as she could. They came closer to it than most biped solid creatures... but they couldn't quite manage it. It made her sad. This would have to be the last time for them until the next time, when they would be happy together though they were often apart.

River looked up as the TARDIS materialized in its usual spot. She chuckled sourly at herself - "usual spot" was a little inaccurate since it was only the third time it had happened. And likely the last. The door opened and he emerged, looking rather tired and sad. His whole face this time, not just his eyes. She sighed and held her hand out to him. He knelt by the bed where she sat and put his head in her lap. She began to stroke his hair gently. "You can't tell me what has you so sad, can you, my love?" She felt him swallow convulsively against her knee before he could answer, his voice hoarse.

"No. Spoilers."

She nodded and moved her hands to his shoulders, drawing him up to sit next to her. "I'm sorry. Will it help to know that it's only been a week for me, here in this room?" He nodded. "Well, then, let's stay in, and you can tell me whatever is safe to tell me. I won't ask for spoilers." And she kissed him lightly on the lips, then laid her forehead against his. He sighed, and she had the fleeting impression that the sadness had to do with her, with something that had happened or would happen to her, something about a library and a forest and shadows. And then he moved his head away from hers and wrapped his arms tightly around her, burying his face in the hair along her neck.

He cried into the curve of her shoulder. He hated that. Way to appear the sophisticated time traveler, Time Lord, weeping into the hair of a mostly-human who barely knows you. But she had seen glimpses of the Library and the Vashta Nerada in his mind, and he couldn't bear it, so he pulled away and hid his face so she wouldn't see him cry. He hadn't counted on her very human perception of humany-wumany emotion. Nor that tears would filter through the wild mass of her hair and dampen her shoulder. So he was a bit surprised when she pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. She sighed.

"It's the last time for a long time, isn't it?" He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. "Then we'll have to make it a good one. Come here." And she kissed him, almost desperately, her hands everywhere at once, as though she was trying to memorize him. He grabbed at her wrists.

"River, please don't do this." His eyes were full of tears and pain.

"But I need you! And you need me!. You told me... you said to give River Song a message. Well, River Song is right here, right _now_, and she needs to know... did you mean what you said? _Did you_?" She was shouting at him now, and he had to answer her honestly. He _didn't _want to hurt her more than she already was.

"I did. I _do_. But..." He let go of her wrists and turned away.

"Then show me. You've shown me so much... _please_ show me you meant it." Calmer now, she put one of the hands on his shoulder, turning him back towards her. "If you have to go," she choked out, "then please leave me with something to remember you by besides a nearly empty blue book."

He couldn't resist her. Not now, not after everything they'd been through together, everything that she had yet to do. So he reached for her, smiling at her but with the pain still there deep in his eyes, and showed her he had indeed meant what he'd said.

In the morning, when she woke, he was gone. But on the pillow where he'd lain beside her was a note. It read: _River Song_ - _I meant it. I mean it. Always and completely. The Doctor_

River picked it up and tucked it into the blue book on the bedside table.


End file.
